The Year I Quit Budgeting
When my second child was born, I stopped budgeting for about a year. She was really struggling the first week of her life and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. We finally got the help we needed when she was about a week old, but the news we got that day was heavy: she needed immediate surgery on her esophagus, and then open heart surgery at around 6 months old.
Her first year of life was a blur. Cousins were born and I don't even remember which one came first. I don't really know how we survived that year. I quit my job to care for this tiny human and my two year old, learned how to insert an NG tube, bought a lot of take out and survival meals, and we somehow made it through with the help of family, friends, and her medical team.
In all of that, I quit budgeting. I just couldn't handle it. We were overspending on basically everything. If she needed something, I bought it from Amazon. If it was a hard day, we bought take out. If we needed something to lift our spirits or get out of the house, we went somewhere and didn't worry about the cost.
When we got back into budgeting, I thought for a minute about trying to go back and categorize our transactions. There were probably hundreds, if not thousands, over the year. I was mad at myself for not paying attention to our spending and I thought that "punishing" myself by going back and entering the endless number of transactions would teach me a lesson.
I'm so grateful I didn't do that. This is literally why the "fresh start" exists. There are times when we just can't keep going the way we have been going. Maybe you bought a house and now your spending is much different than it was before. Maybe summer is your crazy time of year at work and you just can't fathom keeping up with budgeting right now. Maybe it's a Tuesday, you forgot to categorize 20 transactions, and now it just feels too overwhelming to go back through them all and the thought of categorizing all of them makes you want to quit YNAB altogether.
Don't quit YNAB. Just quit holding yourself to this unreasonable standard that you will always follow your plan exactly as it's written out. If I told you to write down minute by minute what you plan to do next Saturday, you could probably give me a pretty good guess. Or maybe you would be completely wrong. Either way, it doesn't matter. The important thing is that planning is helpful, but it cannot possibly account for the future (or foresee rising gas prices).
When life feels absolutely crazy, stick to the plan where you can, but not so much that it breaks you. Your budget will be waiting for you when you're ready. There will be times when your budget feels like a complete mess, and that's okay. You aren't failing at budgeting - you are living your life. It’s not a permanent thing or an indication that you are doing anything wrong. Just like packing for a trip will temporarily make your home messy, living life can sometimes make it feel like your budget is out of whack for a bit.
I'm delighted to say that my daughter is a thriving little girl who can run almost as fast as me. I'm also happy to say that I didn't let that year of "lost budgeting" make me quit budgeting altogether. And if I can brag a bit more, I'm grateful that I had the grace to let that year go and not beat myself up about my budget getting messy (or being completely ignored). Life happens. Let's give every dollar a job so we can go live it well.
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